Are you resisting joy?
Are you resisting joy?
Most of us are not yet ready to feel good or be happy 100% all the time.
We say we want to be happy, positive, healthy and wealthy but we’re still doing things that hold us back from achieving it because we don’t believe it’s possible.
We sabotage ourselves when it comes to success, when the stakes are high, or when success is more than we have experienced before.
We literally resist joy.
In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks writes:
“The Upper Limit Problem is the human tendency to put the brakes on our positive energy when we've exceeded our unconscious thermostat setting for how good we can feel, how successful we can be, and how much love we can feel.”
(If you haven’t read this book, please DO. It is a must-read for growing your empire.)
💥 As conscious entrepreneurs, we create our own internal glass ceilings. 💥
We limit our fullest soul expression for fear of the consequences.
We all have an inner ‘thermostat setting’ that determines how much success we allow ourselves to enjoy in various areas of life. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting (like having the breakout sales month, or making more money than we ever have, or finding a great relationship, or getting healthy and fit), we do things to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.
💥 Because most of us are absolutely terrified of feeling out of control. 💥
And this paralyzes us from making the “big leap” into our greatness and our genius.
There are so many slippery ways sabotage shows up:
👉 You get sick as you are starting on a new path of expansion, right after a success, or during a launch. You have a massive win and get sick overnight. You have been working for weeks or months to launch a new program or lead generation strategy and right when you’re ready to reveal it you get sick. You commit to your most successful year ever and things seem to be flowing but then the shit hits the fan and you get sick.
👉 You are doing all the right things but not making more money, or you’re stuck at a certain income level and can’t move beyond it. Maybe you’ve been stuck for YEARS.
👉 You are making more money but can’t seem to hold onto it. In fact, you’re making more money than you EVER have in the history of your business and you’re still in a full out financial crisis.
👉 You abandon aligned money-making projects right after the idea generation stage. You have literally downloaded the most amazing program or service, EVER, that is so aligned to your soul and perfect for your Tribe, and then somehow you either forget you created it or just decide it must no longer be aligned because you’re not super excited about it anymore.
👉 You’re having a lot of visibility in your business but feel depressed. You just can’t seem to find your mojo or your energy or your excitement.
👉 You focus on criticism and blame, or pick fights when things begin to go well for you. Everything and everyone else is the problem (why can’t they just see that and admit it?!)
👉 You can’t seem to get beyond a certain number of clients at any given time. You SAY you want more, but you just can’t seem to get there.
👉 You create new offerings all the time instead of marketing what you already have. You’re creating more busyness for yourself rather than capitalizing on what is already working in your business.
👉 You give up on completing a project when it’s 94% done. You wake up one day and just decide it must no longer be aligned to you (even though you created it from alignment.)
👉 You’re business is working well but your relationship(s) has gone to sh*t. You just can’t seem to have everything working well at the same time.
👉 Other people’s problems throw you off your plans. Your clients, your team, your colleagues, your family keep needing you to focus on them instead of your current plan. Resonate with some (or maybe even all) of these? You’ve got an Upper Limit Problem, my dear. Unless you understand this whole upper limit thing, you may mistakenly believe that you’re flawed or simply not “good enough” to handle a big jump in your success or happiness.
💥 It may feel like you’re always on the verge of a life altering breakthrough, but you either can’t seem to ever get there or maintain it. 💥
Here are some ways to address the Upper Limit Problem (ULP) and continue to level up in life, no matter what happens. Because the thing is, it doesn’t matter if you’re making $50k or running a multi-7 figure business, the ULP doesn’t discriminate, and WILL always find you:
Get that dealing with “upper limit problems” are a necessary part of the journey. No one escapes this. So don’t feel weak, bad or alone if any of this sounds familiar.
Choose compassion and self-awareness because these dissolve the self-sabotage patterns. Check your ego and your victim (“Why does this always happen to me?”) mentality.
Moving through upper limit problems is not a one time event. If you’re committed to continually expanding your levels of wealth, love and happiness, get on board. Because this is the path of growing your empire.
- Be in gratitude.
Increase your tolerance for how much joy you are willing to experience. That ALWAYS begins with gratitude. Honor exactly where you are and what you have with love, gratitude and respect. Journal on this, and TELL the people around you that you are grateful for them and love them. Love on your body. Love on your bank account.
- Be on alert.
When good stuff starts happening in your life and business, expect the upper limit problem to surface. Ask yourself, “How much wealth, love and joy am I truly willing to have?” Make sure your actions and your words line up with that answer.
Then keep a watchful, observant eye and open heart.
If you catch yourself about to start an argument, go into some manufactured mental drama or make a royally stupid and rash business decision – stop. Take a few deep breaths. Call your most grounded friend and have a chat.
Any time you’re in the midst of busting through your own upper limits, it’s bound to be a little scary and uncomfortable. You may want to pull back and contract.
Hang with the discomfort.
It’s a good sign.
It means you’ve just increased your capacity to experience wealth, joy and love.
Your upper limit problem will never go away, you’ll simply learn to be more aware of it and manage it better. It doesn’t matter if you’re making $50k a year or running a multi-7 figure business, the upper limit will continue to show up as you up-level because you are always on a path of growth!
Make that the new normal and you grow your empire.
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